In the last two posts (here and here), I asked my two friends to discuss their experiences with memorizing Scripture over the last few months (and back to Philippians). I appreciate what they said and agree as well. Memorizing Scripture with them over this last year has been a growing time for me.
Yet, I came away from the Sermon on the Mount with a different set of feelings than Philippians. With Philippians, there was one major theme that impacted me more than others: the “long perspective”. Paul constantly and consistently spoke about aiming for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. He strove and worked and poured himself out to attain the resurrection from the dead, even desiring to share in Christ’s sufferings. Why would he do that? He saw Christ doing it for him, becoming a servant, obedient to death. I determined to work that perspective into my daily life, into my choices.
But my feelings are different after going through the Sermon on the Mount for the last four months. I came away from this passage cut to the quick. I realized how needy I am of grace – every day even! I found (and still find) my heart to be desperately wicked. When Jesus spoke of the “new righteousness” demanded by kingdom life, I found new crevices within my heart full of sin. Jesus spoke of right motives in our acts of piety, and I found selfish motives abounding in even my smallest actions. Jesus tells us to prioritize the eternal – the heavenly treasure – with a focused, healthy eye, serving the right master. My priorities often still focus on my stuff and my needs. Our judgments must be accompanied by a ruthless, internal dealing with our own sin; I judge wrongly (and too often), ignoring my own sin. The “golden rule” seems a higher sacrifice than I ever realized. And that “rule” sums up the Law and the Prophets – loving others interdependent with loving God.
I have been driven more to prayer. “If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand?” I have asked for God to continue pouring out his grace on my sin. I want to build on the rock of obedience to be established for any weather.
Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess all, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision. (The Valley of Vision, opening prayer)